"melted butter"

school started hah

Aug 27th Wed
"it’s quieter out here"

"it’s quieter out here"

Aug 24th Sun

Anonymous said: what about Gaza and Ferguson John? do they not deserve your respect? you're such a hypocrite, i's disgusting


I think this is a deeply flawed way of looking at the world.

Now, I have talked about Ferguson, and I’ve talked about Gaza. (In fact, I’ve been writing and talking about Israel and Palestine for more than a decade.) But there are many important problems facing the world that I haven’t talked about: I haven’t talked much about the civil war in South Sudan, or the epidemic of suicide among American military personnel, or the persecution of Muslim Rohingya people in Myanmar.

Is that okay? Is it okay for me to talk about, say, racism in football and lowering infant mortality in Ethiopia? Or must we all agree to discuss only  whatever is currently the ascendant news story? Is it disrespectful to Ferguson protesters to talk about continued political oppression in Egypt now that we are no longer reblogging images of the protests in Tahrir Square? I think this is a false choice: If you are talking about Ferguson and I am talking about Ethiopian health care, neither of us is hurting the other.

I think the challenge for activists and philanthropists online is in paying sustained attention, not over days or weeks but over years and decades. And I worry that when we turn our attention constantly from one outrage to another we end up not investing the time and work to facilitate actual change. We say “THE WORLD IS WATCHING,” and it is…until it isn’t. We’ve seen this again and again in Gaza and the West Bank. We’re seeing it in Iran. We’re seeing it in South Sudan. And we’re seeing it in the U.S., from net neutrality to Katrina recovery.

The truth is, these problems are complicated, and when the outrage passes we’re left with big and tangled and nuanced problems. I feel that too often that’s when we stop paying attention, because it gets really hard and there’s always a shiny new problem somewhere else that’s merely outrageous. I hope you’re paying attention to Ferguson in five years, anon, and I hope I am, too. I also hope I’m paying attention to child death in Ethiopia. I don’t think these things are mutually exclusive.

I really don’t want to minimize the effectiveness of online activism, because I know that it works: To use a personal example, I’ve learned a TON from the LGBT+ and sexual assault survivor communities in recent years online. People on tumblr make fun of me for apologizing all the time, but I apologize all the time because I am learning all the time, and every day I’m like, “Oh, man, Current Me has realized that Previous Me was so wrong about this!”

But we can only learn when we can listen. And when you call me a hypocrite for talking about X instead of talking about Y, it makes it really hard to listen.

At times, online discourse to me feels like we just sit in a circle screaming at each other until people get their feelings hurt and withdraw from the conversation, which leaves us with ever-smaller echo chambers, until finally we’re left only with those who entirely agree with us. I don’t think that’s how the overall worldwide level of suck gets decreased.

I might be wrong, of course. I often am. But I think we have to find ways to embrace nuance and complexity online. It’s hard—very, very hard—to make the most generous, most accepting, most forgiving assumptions about others. But I also really do think it’s the best way forward.

Aug 22nd Fri


‘Am I Next?’: Ferguson’s Protests Through the Eyes of a Teenager


Aug 19th Tue

I’m gonna talk a bit, because I can and I am half asleep

I’m trying hard to find the balance between being able to romanticize the shit out of life and allowing my heart to feel and create and glow without putting limits to myself (with art, finance, and everything) and being able criticize myself and the world- to see and acknowledge ugliness, self-absorption, deception, injustice, stigma, misunderstanding, and ignorance, to know their source within and outside me (emotionally, socially, politically)

a lack of mental reconciliation makes it easy to mute it all down, to swallow your barely chewed food and wipe your mouth silently

the world is brutal and disturbing, with recent events and global events that continue to happen in mind, but god, look at that beautiful summer evening sky, the way those clouds waltz among the pale purple expanse.

a lot of times I can’t bring myself to simply do things without some kind of guilt or nausea attached to it- how can I even attempt to facilitate in an already torn world? Is this just a pretense in pursuit and living? Everything’s preset in system, and it aims to bruise us into passive comatose. It gets kind of messed up in my head, it kills me dude

It took so much effort, energy, and time to persuade my parents to pursue art and there’s still so much doubt and arguing, on both ends. 

They ask what the point is, often, and most of the time I don’t have a satisfactory answer, for them and myself especially

My parents moved from Hong Kong to the U.S. in 1989. I’m still not sure what expectations they specifically had. Something different, something bigger. A place where acres of space breathe a cheapened virginity. My dad misses Hong Kong, you can hear it in his sighs, and my mom’s mental health has been worsening ever since. I feel obligated to compensate for something I guess.

I want to do this life thing right, but who has any control over that

I’m terrified of failure and mediocrity, and it can be the most productive fuel or the most crippling handicap, always acting in extremes

I hate thinking if I don’t capitalize on what assets I have now then I’m wasting my time- it’s a venomous mindset

I want to be so much more than enough, for myself and the world, and maybe that’s some subconscious ego and self-satisfaction speaking but

this is what I can do, right now. this is what I feel I can be my best doing.

I’m lucky to be here where I am, wiggling around my own definition of being human functioning in the life context I was served. I’m more fortunate than most. I’m going to keep trying, we’ve got to, inhaling and exhaling beauty and tragedy

the world can always be a better place, and caring for ourselves and others and attempting to improve each other’s circumstances in even the smallest waves is so important. This place is incinerating, burning before our eyes, and we are granted with both water and wood. The means in which we feed the fire is determined by us.

This is nothing noble or brave, these circumstances are my raw materials and I will use them the best I can while I can still afford to. You too.

Aug 15th Fri

Anonymous said: I feel so useless sitting here. What can I do to help Ferguson??



there’s a bail and legal fund that’s been set up for those who’ve been arrested 

this person is trying to organize a food drive for school kids in ferguson

national moment of silence 2014 (for victims of police brutality) 

share the following: 

videos of what has happened

links to articles

how to make a tear gas mask

livestream link to the peaceful protests

Ferguson Police Department
Email (taken off the site) 

222 S. Florissant Road
Ferguson, MO 63135

Ph: 314-522-3100
Fx: 314-524-5290

Police department:

Jackson, Thomas Police Chief - tjackson@fergusoncity.com (314) 524-5269 

Henke, Rick Captain - rhenke@fergusoncity.com (314) 524-5272 

McBride, Dennis Captain - dmcbride@fergusoncity.com (314) 522-3100 

DeCarli, Dan Captain - ddecarli@fergusoncity.com (314) 522-3811 

Nabzdyk, Ray Lieutenant - rnabzdyk@fergusoncity.com (314) 524-5277

Zoll, Timothy Business Liaison Officer/ Neighborhood Watch - tzoll@fergusoncity.com (314) 522-3100 (x.5533 or 5108)

Aug 14th Thu
"I will not let this terrible numbness engulf me"

"I will not let this terrible numbness engulf me"

Aug 12th Tue


i’m rewatching dead poets society and i just got to this scene and it’s too much right now

Aug 11th Mon

I thought I’d be wiser and more productive with age but I’m just grumpier and have less decorated dreams and sleep more and my stomach can’t really handle milk/cheesy food anymore lest I want to have a terrible shit 

It’s hard to find the means to express yourself when all the feelings that swell inside you have been muted into the silent ringing background in your ears

But I’m here, you’re here, being alive and stuff

we’re okay

Aug 10th Sun

treehouse safehaven, b/w and indigo versions

this is a submission for a t-shirt thing and I am sleepy and I’m listening


*looks around and whispers* (kpop)

Aug 8th Fri


nt crying

Aug 4th Mon

haha oh god

Jul 31st Thu

Anonymous said: I find your art very deep and interesting and i really like the delicate style you use to express yourself. You are very skilled but the most impressive thing about your art is the message, it feels a bit like seeing a reflection of my own soul and thoughts. Your art is extremely touching and unique. Thank you for sharing it and for making me want to create again. I sincerely wish you a happy and fulfilling life.

This is so nice

Today has been a good day, and coming home to this is just

really nice, thank you 

I’ve been so stupidly unsure lately but god, you gotta put an attempt somewhere 

Jul 29th Tue
Seconds was good *rubs satiated tummy

Seconds was good *rubs satiated tummy

Jul 27th Sun
birthdays am I right

birthdays am I right

Jul 25th Fri