‘Am I Next?’: Ferguson’s Protests Through the Eyes of a Teenager


Aug 19th Tue

I’m gonna talk a bit, because I can and I am half asleep

I’m trying hard to find the balance between being able to romanticize the shit out of life and allowing my heart to feel and create and glow without putting limits to myself (with art, finance, and everything) and being able criticize myself and the world- to see and acknowledge ugliness, self-absorption, deception, injustice, stigma, misunderstanding, and ignorance, to know their source within and outside me (emotionally, socially, politically)

a lack of mental reconciliation makes it easy to mute it all down, to swallow your barely chewed food and wipe your mouth silently

the world is brutal and disturbing, with recent events and global events that continue to happen in mind, but god, look at that beautiful summer evening sky, the way those clouds waltz among the pale purple expanse.

a lot of times I can’t bring myself to simply do things without some kind of guilt or nausea attached to it- how can I even attempt to facilitate in an already torn world? Is this just a pretense in pursuit and living? Everything’s preset in system, and it aims to bruise us into passive comatose. It gets kind of messed up in my head, it kills me dude

It took so much effort, energy, and time to persuade my parents to pursue art and there’s still so much doubt and arguing, on both ends. 

They ask what the point is, often, and most of the time I don’t have a satisfactory answer, for them and myself especially

My parents moved from Hong Kong to the U.S. in 1989. I’m still not sure what expectations they specifically had. Something different, something bigger. A place where acres of space breathe a cheapened virginity. My dad misses Hong Kong, you can hear it in his sighs, and my mom’s mental health has been worsening ever since. I feel obligated to compensate for something I guess.

I want to do this life thing right, but who has any control over that

I’m terrified of failure and mediocrity, and it can be the most productive fuel or the most crippling handicap, always acting in extremes

I hate thinking if I don’t capitalize on what assets I have now then I’m wasting my time- it’s a venomous mindset

I want to be so much more than enough, for myself and the world, and maybe that’s some subconscious ego and self-satisfaction speaking but

this is what I can do, right now. this is what I feel I can be my best doing.

I’m lucky to be here where I am, wiggling around my own definition of being human functioning in the life context I was served. I’m more fortunate than most. I’m going to keep trying, we’ve got to, inhaling and exhaling beauty and tragedy

the world can always be a better place, and caring for ourselves and others and attempting to improve each other’s circumstances in even the smallest waves is so important. This place is incinerating, burning before our eyes, and we are granted with both water and wood. The means in which we feed the fire is determined by us.

This is nothing noble or brave, these circumstances are my raw materials and I will use them the best I can while I can still afford to. You too.

Aug 15th Fri

Anonymous said: I feel so useless sitting here. What can I do to help Ferguson??



there’s a bail and legal fund that’s been set up for those who’ve been arrested 

this person is trying to organize a food drive for school kids in ferguson

national moment of silence 2014 (for victims of police brutality) 

share the following: 

videos of what has happened

links to articles

how to make a tear gas mask

livestream link to the peaceful protests

Ferguson Police Department
Email (taken off the site) 

222 S. Florissant Road
Ferguson, MO 63135

Ph: 314-522-3100
Fx: 314-524-5290

Police department:

Jackson, Thomas Police Chief - (314) 524-5269 

Henke, Rick Captain - (314) 524-5272 

McBride, Dennis Captain - (314) 522-3100 

DeCarli, Dan Captain - (314) 522-3811 

Nabzdyk, Ray Lieutenant - (314) 524-5277

Zoll, Timothy Business Liaison Officer/ Neighborhood Watch - (314) 522-3100 (x.5533 or 5108)

Aug 14th Thu
"I will not let this terrible numbness engulf me"

"I will not let this terrible numbness engulf me"

Aug 12th Tue


i’m rewatching dead poets society and i just got to this scene and it’s too much right now

Aug 11th Mon

I thought I’d be wiser and more productive with age but I’m just grumpier and have less decorated dreams and sleep more and my stomach can’t really handle milk/cheesy food anymore lest I want to have a terrible shit 

It’s hard to find the means to express yourself when all the feelings that swell inside you have been muted into the silent ringing background in your ears

But I’m here, you’re here, being alive and stuff

we’re okay

Aug 10th Sun

treehouse safehaven, b/w and indigo versions

this is a submission for a t-shirt thing and I am sleepy and I’m listening


*looks around and whispers* (kpop)

Aug 8th Fri


nt crying

Aug 4th Mon

haha oh god

Jul 31st Thu

Anonymous said: I find your art very deep and interesting and i really like the delicate style you use to express yourself. You are very skilled but the most impressive thing about your art is the message, it feels a bit like seeing a reflection of my own soul and thoughts. Your art is extremely touching and unique. Thank you for sharing it and for making me want to create again. I sincerely wish you a happy and fulfilling life.

This is so nice

Today has been a good day, and coming home to this is just

really nice, thank you 

I’ve been so stupidly unsure lately but god, you gotta put an attempt somewhere 

Jul 29th Tue
Seconds was good *rubs satiated tummy

Seconds was good *rubs satiated tummy

Jul 27th Sun
birthdays am I right

birthdays am I right

Jul 25th Fri
swallowing lines

swallowing lines

Jul 23rd Wed
nervous scrawling before work
someone kick my sad ass

nervous scrawling before work

someone kick my sad ass

Jul 20th Sun

Anonymous said: hello sorry if this is a shallow and awkward (n borderline creepy heh) type of ask but where do you generally find your clothes? from the few photographs you've posted your style looks totally rad and i need help because i can't dress myself at all and ebay is not helping (im also terrified of spending large amounts money). Also your artwork is really really fucking cool and unique and deep (not an obligatory compliment i promise). ok ok i'm just vomiting all over this ask box so ima stop now.

omg no I love this I actually really love style and fashion

I’m terrified of spending large amounts of money too and tbh I get most of my clothes/shoes etc from local thrift stores (mainly Goodwill and stuff) and Asian fashion boutiques around my area which probably doesn’t help too much because they’re pretty area-specific, you just gotta sift

If I’m too busy to sift through those I usually hit up your general H&M or Burlington or something because I’m a tool

There’re sites like (shipping though cries) that can provide cheap, cool pieces if ya into it

I also get some pretty sweet socks and tights from Daiso 

Also arbitrary sidenote I love looking at places like yes-asianstreet.tumblr.com, and for style inspiration both for art and myself ahhhhhh

also thank you so much I love you

Jul 15th Tue